Beta Readers and stupid meds

Published 13/07/2012 by Lily Crussell

I’m still editing my newest work. It has no ending as I hated the old one so much I scrapped it lol.

If you would be willing to be a Beta reader, please contact me as I want to get a lot of different perspectives, but please be aware that if you offer to do it you can’t share the work with ANYONE, it can’t be forwarded, passed around or copied. I need honest feedback about pacing, storyline, characters and themes. I will also need constructive criticism (I have feelings too)

I’m having giveaways on my fanpage on facebook, so go check those out.

On a completely different subject, my new medication is making me feel rubbish. I’m panicky, getting awful palpitations and have been off work for two weeks as I feel so awful. I can’t sleep properly and everything is freaking me out, leaving the house is becoming an issue again and I’m really not feeling remotely ‘well’ so apologies if I’m ‘off’ in any way. I’m trying to distract myself, but it’s really difficult. Sertraline is a pain in the behind. Apparently 1 in 3 people will have an episode of mental illness at some point in their life, and I suppose I don’t understand the stigma attached, hence talking about it quite openly. I know a lot of people out there are going through the same things, and I just want people to realise it’s ok. We’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. We can help it as much as people who have cancer can help being ill, the difference is people are scared of people with mental illness thinking we’re going to flip and murder someone or something equally awful. I have never killed anyone. I don’t have violent episodes apart from ones directed at myself and I don’t scream abuse at people or ‘flip out’ in any way other than panicking and feeling awful. So if you’ve never been mentally ill, just be aware that we’re not psychotic killers, we’re just like you, we just struggle to cope with things that you find easy. Our lives are dictated by ridiculous things that we have no control over and it is in no way fun or enjoyable (After returning to work after having a break down, (which everyone knew about) I was asked if I’d ‘had a nice holiday’ I personally think I should be allowed to take a swing at people like that, but there we are) I would love to be a fully functional ‘normal’ person, but beating myself up about it just makes me feel worse. So there we are, a little too much TMI, but I get tired of people treating the subject like it’s taboo. It’s not. It’s an illness like any other and we should be ok talking about it!

Love and hugs

Lily x

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