All posts for the month February, 2012

28th Feb

Published 28/02/2012 by Lily Crussell

I’ve just found another book called ‘Of Darkness and Light’ on Amazon. I’m slightly suspicious though as it states it has been up there since March last year, but having searched the title several thousand times before using it for my book, nothing came up before. Where has it suddenly appeared from? After spending so long trying to find a title that hadn’t already been used, I’m slightly annoyed to find someone else has used it, especially when I never found that book before.

C’est la vie.

What I’m reading at the moment; I’ve just finished ‘How to be a Woman’ by Caitlin Moran. I’ve read it before, but enjoyed it a lot. Probably not suitable for younger readers as there is A LOT of swearing in it. The subject matter is also 18+ at least (I know if I’d read it at 18, I would have been severely freaked out, but I was very naive at that age) the chapter on child birth should be printed and given out in sex education classes. After reading that chapter I crossed my legs for a very long time and I don’t have (or want) kids!

Wither – Lauren DeStephano

I’m about a third of the way through this and am enjoying it. I’ve struggled t find YA fiction that I enjoy since The Hunger Games, as everything has been very samish and pretty lame to be honest. I have read a lot of authors that people have raved about and are quite famous and successful, but haven’t been able to enjoy them at all. This book isn’t the most original in its dystopian future (I’ve heard of several on a similar subject) but I’ really enjoying it. Admittedly the cover caught my eye (something that, as an author myself, I should be immune to!) and ym local library didn’t have it, so my other half bought it for me very kindly. I’m not going to post a review as I haven’t finished it, but it might be worth having a look at if you have nothing to read at the moment. I’m incredibly picky and I’ve struggled to put it down.

Love and hugs x

Good Day!

Published 24/02/2012 by Lily Crussell

Wow! You know when you have one of those days where everything seems to go your way? I am havign one and it’s great! I had a wonderful review written at

Which put a big grin on my face, plus I was sent some vouchers! Yay! See, it doesn’t take much to make me happy! x


Published 21/02/2012 by Lily Crussell

I’d like to appologise to the one person that reads this for not having posted! I’ve been staying with the bf and didn’t take my laptop so haven’t been able to. Not much to report really, downloads of my book have slowed to about 1 a week which sucks. But it’s better than nothing.

Haven’t gotten much done, though I did have a couple of good writing/reworking/editing days so I was happy with that, more than I’ve achieved in ages, so it was all good!

Have a stupid CBT appointment later. Im not finding it helpful. The main problem I have with depression/anxiety is how irrational it makes me sometimes, and to have someone tell you; ‘When you feel that you are about to do something unhelpful, either remove yourself from the situation or count to ten’ isn’t great. If I knew I was going to do something stupid, I wouldn’t do it would I? Urgh. There’s no telling some people, and you know for a fact that my CBT lady has never had a mental problem in her life as I swear she thinks I’m making things up or being awkward on purpose. C’est la vie.

Anyhoo, love and hugs x

Ebooks vs regular

Published 16/02/2012 by Lily Crussell

I have been asked several times which I prefer as a reader and as a writer and have given it some serious thought (which took all of five minutes) I don’t have a kindle/nook/kobo etc etc ad infinitum basically because I don’t understand the appeal. (I also can’t afford one)

I love books. I love bookshops. I love how they feel in your hands, the weight, the physical presence of them. An e-book just seems like a cold, technological thing that has by passed all aspects of a book. Obviously it’s still the written word, but you have to use power to use it. You have to use up a power source to read. Explain that one to me. If I want to read a book, I pick it up and read it. If I wanted to read an e-book, it would be on the assumption that I charged it and downloaded the book etc.

As for being  a writer of an e-book…I hate them. I honest to god hate them. I reformatted my book no less that 5 times and it still has formatting errors when transferred to the e-book reader doohicky. I don’t find any part of the process easy, I just find it stressful. Admittedly my book wouldn ‘t exist if it weren’t in e-book form, but I just find it really sad that something I worked on for four or so years is selling at 99P. I have had over 800 downloads. About 750 of those were when it was for free. I have made less than £20 off four years work. Add into that the price of copy editing, critiquing etc (I’m not including envelopes, physical wages that I would have to pay someone to work the number of hours it took me to write the book, stamps, stationary etc when I sent it out to agents.) but I am already at  loss of about £600+. Add the promo items I’ve bought and made. You’re looking at another £100 or so plus the hours to make and organise everything. £20 is a bit of a slap in the face for all that work.

I’m not naive. I knew I’d never get rich, but I did want to make enough money so that I could do this as a job, because I love it. I love it. I do. But it is something that is costing me a small fortune due to the bleeping e-book industry. Have you ever seen an author giving out free copies of their physical book? Didn’t think so. I know the hateful things are here to stay, but I can’t help loathing them with a deep seated passion. I just wanted to see my work as a physical book, and I know that isn’t going to happen now. I just think that if e-books didn’t exist, people would be paying more for books, and agents would be more likely to take a chance on an unknown author because they would be making more money.

Rant over…for now…

omg I’ve actually written something!

Published 13/02/2012 by Lily Crussell

A writer that writes? Never! Well, my block has been beaten aside and I’ve actually written a couple of pages, something which I thought wouldn’t happen for a VERY long time. Not writing to me, is an alien thing, it’s a compulsion, an obsession, and such a part of my life I don’t consider it something I have a choice in. Not being able to write is awful. I’m grumpy, useless to everyone and completely restless and horrible to be around.

Also I am reading the Hinger Games Trilogy again as the movie will be coming out soon. I’m really excited about this as I loved the first book. I loved the first half of the second book, but the third had me using a lot of swearwords. I won’t go into more detail in case you haven’t read them, but everyone should! Everyone. Not just teens, not just boys or girls, everyone. They are amasing. My only annoyance is that I can’t UNREAD them so I can experience them anew again. There are so many books I would love to unread! That would be awesome!

Listening to the Silent Hill 2 OST as I’m in a weird mood and the world was very foggy and Silent Hill-esque when I woke up this morning. Creepy to say the least.

My mood is pretty good. I got a lot done today, even though I fell asleep at some point with ‘Catching Fire’ on my face which left a big red mark, but c’est la vie, I’ve fallen asleep in weirder positions.

Good places to advertise?

Published 12/02/2012 by Lily Crussell

Could any of my lovely readers let me know where they find are good places to advertise their writing? Spamming on Twitter is just not me and I want something that is easy (I’m blonde), cheap (I’m poor) and successful as I have tried so many different things that just don’t work!

Creative Writing Group

Published 11/02/2012 by Lily Crussell

I found a local writing group at my town library, which dealt with creative writing. I thought I would pop along as it has been so long since I actually wrote anything, and I mean anything. It’s all been promotion, advertising and basically everything that isn’t writing. Anyhoo, I signed up, turned up… and was the youngest one there by a long shot. Nice in a way, but also slightly uncomfortable. The feeling that you don’t belong or that it’s a birthday party you weren’t invited to.

*I have to take a moment to gather my thoughts as my partner is currently blaring sclub 7 out of his laptop. I am deeply ashamed and unable to think* *Oh, now it’s s-club juniors, god help me*

Anyhoo, youngest person there, also a Vegan which is always a fun way to segregate yourself further. they were offering tea and biscuits. I asked if they had soya milk and the woman answered; ‘Semi-skimmed, yes of course’ I told her I meant Soya milk and she looked at me like I had asked for a glass of blood. I also couldn’t have the biscuits and stupidly hadn’t had breakfast. A rumbling stomach is not helpful when people are trying to concentrate.

That aside, the teacher introduced herself and asked us what we hoped to get out of it etc. We then went around and were given random words to write a short passage about; lupin, butterfly, wings, adventure etc. We were given ten minutes and then read in turn what we had written. I’ve never read my work aloud, ever. Admittedly I didn’t feel too nervous as it was something we were only given ten minutes to write so it wasn’t something I felt too protective over (i.e if I had spent four years working on a novel and had to read that out

*having to stop to inform my partner about washing clothing ‘le sigh’*

Anyhoo, the area they had set aside for us in the library was essentially a few chairs in the busiest part between two books rows. Customers were poking in and out with no shame for the fact that we were trying to work, bringing their screaming children across and not even being apologetic about it. I get that it’s a public place, but I would never be so rude as to strike up a loud argument with my partner right next to a reading/writing group. I probably sound like a complete snob, but it’s just rude and not easy to concentrate and no less so to read out your work when you have several people gawking at you. It was a good, productive two hours, the teacher was great and everyone was very nice, I just thought the location was a bit useless, you could barely hear each other talk and some of the people at the class (must be regulars) seemed intent on having all focus on themselves and their work. Most seemed to be retired women (there weren’t any males at the class) who had decided to take it on as a hobby, and I think that’s great, but I suppose I expected everyone to be willing to give each other the time to shine and give equal encouragement. The teacher said she didn’t allow anyone to comment (good or bad) on each others’ stories as that wasn’t what it was about, and I though that was definitely a good thing as some of us were very shy about our work (one woman refused point blank to read anything out, so I didn’t understand what she hoped to gain from it all) Maybe I’ve just been cooped up in the house too long due to one thing or another and am forgetting how to interact with other human beings, or maybe I just expected too much, but it was definitely a positive experience in the sense that i got to go somewhere where people had similar interests as writing can be a very insular, antisocial past time. It is people locking themselves in rooms to type madly (or not in the case of bleeping writers block) and everyone around you not really understanding your reasoning for it.

My beloved is an incredibly supportive man, who would do just about anything for me and to support me, but I know he doesn’t understand that sometimes I have to shut the door and not come out for a while, that I am irritable when I can’t get out what I’m trying to say, that sometimes writing a blog entry needs concentration (hence the bleeping s-club 7!) and that we as a group are a pretty eccentric, mental bunch (no offence intended to any other writers) hat hear voices in our heads (hopefully our muses and not voices telling us to burn things lol) and live in our heads more often than in the real world.

One thing I did gain from the writing group was a little hope. We’re all constantly told that we’ll make no money from this profession, we will always be on the bread line, unable to turn on the heating so we can buy stamps (that is actually my life right now lol) begging on street corners to have our manuscripts read and filling drawers with rejections…BUT! The lady teaching my course was about to go on a writing retreat to Morocco and another in Spain in mid winter, and being paid for it. She gets paid to go to hot countries and talk about writing. And having searched for her extensively on the net, I can’t find that she has had anything published. So kids, skip the whole publishing gig, and go do a retreat! Go to the sun! Tell people how NOT to get published (I am most definitely an expert at this now!) and use your common sense to fix people’s work and kill their writer’s block! Urgh I hate how cynical I am getting, but I feel like I am constantly beating my head against a wall to get somewhere and some people seem to find it so easy! Might go listen to some s-club 7 and get myself in a real tizz. Apologies for the ‘bleeping’ I don’t like swearing but find sometimes bleeping myself out makes me feel the same release as if I had actually done it. I do it when talking too. ‘I bleeping hate that!’ etc. All part of being an eccentric (read mental) writer. I blame the meds, always blame the meds ;p (or failing that, your parents!)

Love and hugs

Lily x